


The Kyoto Incident

by Jellyfax



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: Dirty Talk, Frottage, Language Kink, Multi, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Polyamory, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 20:43:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4680755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellyfax/pseuds/Jellyfax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Illya and Gaby discover Napoleon is really quite talented with his tongue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kyoto Incident

**Author's Note:**

> Because the credits said that a certain American spy can speak fluent Japanese, I sort of took that and ran with it... apologies for the mediocre Japanese and frankly terrible Russian...
> 
> This is also my first poly fic! I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> EDIT: Hover for translations! (all translations are approximate, because of differences in tone and phrasing between languages)

The Japanese summer was relentless, heat beating down on the three agents as they made their way through the former capital. The temperature wouldn’t have been unbearable, if it hadn’t been for the humidity, sticking their shirts to them, sweat running uselessly down their necks, and the backs of their legs.

“это слишком жарко.”  Illya grumbled, tugging at his collar.

Napoleon smirked grimly. “You can say _that_ again.”

“Do you two _ever_ stop complaining?” Gaby said. “Can’t you just enjoy where we are? It’s not every day that you get to see Kyoto.”

“I’d prefer to see it without the sweat blinding me every time I try to look.”

Gabi rolled her eyes, but felt a smile tug fondly at the corners of her mouth as she glanced back at her two partners. It had been almost a year since Istanbul, and slowly but surely they had grown together as a team. They were friends, and a formidable trio when they needed to be. But there was something else, bubbling away underneath it all. Something that Napoleon would probably be all too content to accept given his past conquests, but it was perhaps something that Illya wasn’t ready for yet. Either way, she was willing to wait. They were in no hurry, and the longer it took, the sweeter it would be in the end.

“Come on, we have a contact to meet. This isn’t a holiday.” Solo said with a grin.

“はよ 帰れ お前、外人！” 

Napoleon stopped in his tracks and frowned. The words were foreign to Gaby’s ears, but there was something familiar enough about them to Solo that he turned to see who had spoken.

A man, dressed in a wife beater and brown slacks was glaring at them from under the awning of a nearby café. He took a drag of the cigarette in his hand and looked Napoleon up and down.

“アメリカ人、あほちゃうか？"  He said with a bitter laugh. A bubble of laughter echoed his own from several other patrons who had turned to look in their direction.

“あいつあほやで、ほんまに！”  Another shouted, garnering more laughs from the surrounding men.

Napoleon pursed his lips briefly before pasting on his customary suave smile.  “すみません、悩みがあるか？” 

The foreign syllables fell from his lips with lyrical ease. Gaby’s jaw dropped. She glanced up at Illya who had a strange look of admiration on his face.

“Did you know he spoke Japanese?”

He raised a brow at her. “It’s on his file.”

“I suppose, but hearing it is a little different”

Illya didn’t reply, only humming in consent as his eyes wandered back over to their American partner. They did not stray from him at all after that.

“何ゆーてんねん！？” 

Gaby turned back around to see one of the men stand up from his chair abruptly, standing a little closer to Napoleon than she was comfortable with. He spat something else at him, not loud enough for her to hear, but evidently understood by Solo, who chuckled darkly.

“好きなように。” 

With that he punched the man in the neck, causing him to fall back, choking, into the table of his peers behind him. What followed was a mess of chairs and tables, fists and feet, breaking glasses and noses alike. By the end of it, there were few pieces of furniture intact, and all of the Japanese men were lying in the street, out cold.

“大変ご不自由をおかけして申し訳ございません。” Napoleon said to the unconscious men, dusting himself off. “We had better lay low for a little while. This was a little more conspicuous than I had intended.”

Gaby raised a brow, following him as he walked, a little faster than necessary, away from the scene.

 

* * *

 

When they arrived back at the hotel U.N.C.L.E. had arranged for them Gaby finally spoke up. “What was that about?”

Napoleon collapsed into one of the nearby chairs. “They were insulting us, and threatening violence, so I reacted in kind.”

“That is not like you.” Illya said frowning.

“Well, it was fine until they started insulting you two.” He replied nonchalantly, but there was a bitter twist to it.

“You didn’t need to defend my honour, Solo. I can handle a bunch of drunk, middle aged men myself.” Gaby said, frowning.

Napoleon huffed out a laugh. “I know, but it was hot, I was irritable, and I didn’t like what they were saying about you. Both.”

His eyes rested on Illya as he said it.

Gaby sighed. _Men._

“I think Illya could have handled them as well.”

“A little _too_ well, I reckon.” Napoleon said. “Speaking of which, I was surprised by your self-restraint. You’re a spy, you don’t need to understand the words to get the body language.”

Gaby chuckled. “Let’s say he was a little … distracted. As was I. I didn’t know you spoke Japanese.”

Solo raised a brow. “Is that so?”

“Your linguistic skills were impressive.” Illya admitted.

“Oh?” Napoleon breathed, genuine surprise in his voice. “Not bothered by my German, or Russian, but the Japanese turns you on?  あっと …" 

Illya swallowed thickly. “I said nothing of … arousal.”

“You didn’t have to.” Napoleon smirked, gesturing to Illya’s crotch.

The Russian’s expression hardened. Gaby took the opportunity to rest a hand on his arm.

“Illya, you don’t need to pretend. You are both attractive men, and frankly, why should I have to choose between you, when I can have both, at the same time?”

The look that he gave her was somewhere between shock and gratitude, not without a measure of lust and excitement. “This is not the Russian way.”

“Good thing I’m not Russian then.” Napoleon said, taking a step towards Illya. “If you want me to stop, you just have to say.”

Illya remained silent, regarding Napoleon carefully.

“Okay then.” He said, stripping off his waistcoat, and undoing his shirt buttons methodically. “嵌めましょうか？”

Illya glanced over at Gaby, who had begun to unzip the back of her dress. She gave him a discreet nod of assurance, and Illya swallowed thickly, undressing himself as well.

“We’ll go as slowly as you want, Peril.” Napoleon said, sauntering over to Illya, and resting his hands on his hips.

Illya shuddered. “Who said anything about taking it slowly, Cowboy?”

Napoleon laughed, pushing Illya very gently towards the bed. The Russian settled back onto the thin mattress as Solo straddled him, nuzzling into his neck.

“大きくなって きた。”  He murmured, nibbling Illya’s earlobe as his hand cupped his hardening cock. Illya shivered, baring his neck for Napoleon to pepper with more nips and kisses. Gaby felt a roll of heat ripple down to her cunt as Solo ran his tongue over Illya’s collar bones. She slid a hand underneath her silky slip of underwear and began to massage circles around her clitoris. Illya looked at her, eyes darkening even further as he saw her touching herself.

 “しゃぶってあげる。” Napoleon growled as he mouthed the straining fabric of Illya’s underwear. The Russian said nothing, only groaning in return as he removed them, sliding them down his thighs with measured intent. He looked up at Illya as he licked a strip up his straining cock.

“Cowboy?”

Napoleon nuzzled into his thigh. “いい匂い” He said reverently before swallowing his length down.

“Блядь!” Illya swore, biting his lip.

Gaby licked her lips, removing her hand and made her way over to the two men. She draped her arms over Illya’s neck from behind and began to kiss him lazily. He groaned into her mouth, one hand reaching behind him to cup her face, the other fisting in Napoleon’s hair as he sucked in earnest. It took all of Illya’s self-control not to buck up and fuck into him.

“Argh! Solo!” He warned, gripping tighter.

Napoleon removed himself from Illya’s cock with a gentle, wet sound that was far filthier than it had any right to be. “口の中イッていい 。” He said, his voice gravelly with arousal.

“Napoleon, may I?” Gaby said, laying herself out on the bed, spreading her legs invitingly.

“If Peril doesn’t mind taking himself in hand for a little bit. It might give him some time to calm down before we continue with him.”

Gaby laughed as Napoleon kissed Illya open-mouthed, rutting against him teasingly, extracting a pained hiss from the Russian.

“выблядок!” Illya growled, biting Solo’s lip.

“気長に構える必要があります。” He said, rolling off him, and crawling towards Gaby.

“Going to show me how talented that tongue of yours really is?”

He laughed, moving her legs up, and kissing her swollen clit.  “好きなように。” 

She squirmed a little as his tongue flicked gently at her, before he slid the very tip of his finger tantalisingly into her. She was so sensitive, the barest touches were driving her mad.

She shuddered again. “Illya.” She called out softly.

The Russian, who had been running a hand over his painfully hard cock lazily at the end of the bed, let out a low, rumbling hum.

“I think … ah, Scheiße … I think Solo deserves a little something for his efforts.”

Napoleon slid a second finger into her as Illya pressed himself against his back. His movements stuttered as Illya slid a hand between his legs, cupping his balls gently, before wrapping an arm around his waist and taking Napoleon’s cock in his large, calloused hands.

The American swore, bucking up into his hand. “Now how is that fair? How am I supposed to concentrate with you distracting me like that?”

Illya sat him up, and ran a hand over his chest, smirking into Napoleon’s ear. “Call it payback for earlier, Cowboy.”

Gaby laughed, and sat up herself, leaning over and teasing her teeth over Napoleon’s hardened nipples.

“Fuck!” Napoleon breathed. “Fuck, Peril.”

Illya rocked against him, giving him just enough friction to let out a desperate whine. Gaby pressed herself up against Napoleon and kissed him fervently. He grabbed one of her breasts in his hand and squeezed it firmly, massaging it as she panted desperately into his neck.

“Oh Gott!” Gaby cried as she brought herself to orgasm, her wetness dripping down her leg as she shuddered it out. With that Illya’s hand stuttered as he came as well, painting Napoleon’s lower back with hot, wet stripes. The involuntary tightening around Napoleon’s cock was the last straw and he came as well, pulling Gaby to him as he did.

They sat there for a while, stickiness cooling between them before Napoleon spoke, voice hoarse and sated.

“最高だった。もう一回？”


End file.
